28/10/05

The above date is a meaningful day to me. it marks the 7th year anniversary for me and dear dear. Time realli flies fast, it's like a blink of eye. We went thru alot together and am real lucky dat we manage to stay together for so long. of coz, we still have a lifetime to spend together. We went to seoul garden for dinner yesterday, had a full full dinner but i ended up goin to toliet twice .. haha.. i think my stomach cannot tahan good food loh, everitime eat good food sure cheong toliet one... hahaha. 7 years of being together is not an easi thing. i think for me and dear dear, we are so used of each other dat sometimes it's scary. i oso dun noe how to say it but maybe i am being too sensitive. to dear dear, he feels dat everitin is fine for him coz he is ah beng thinkin, but for me, it seems dat somethin is missin bet us. i oso dun noe wat is missing, i just feel it leh. i noe dat we still love each other much and there's no other party or watsoever. maybe becoz i am thinkin too much. i realli hope dat it's just a phrase dat we have to go thru. and he is too bc wif his wk now. :) prayin dat it will pass soon.

29/10/05
Brought the kids to zoo today. special thanks to auntie annie for providin the free tickets. i think without the free admission, i wun think twice abt goin there. so expensive the tics, and not so worth loh. spend a few hours there walking around and lookin at animals when i can see 2 monkeys at home oreadi. wat for rite? hahahha...
the kids however, veri excited abt the animals. walk until leg pain just to satisfy them. sigh .. kids nowadays seems to have endless energy. dun think they will feel tired at all. but overall, it's a tiring trip but worthwhile for the kids loh.

Read the papers today and there's an motor accident dat happen to one of my cousin's friend. he is oni 23 years old and left behind a wife and 2 small kids. i feel veri sorry for his wife as the kids are so young and she still have a long way to go esp wif the 2 small kids. sometimes, fate is just like dat. loves to play tricks wif ppl. it makes mi feel dat i m more fortunate than these ppl coz i still got my love ones around mi, to support and love me. it makes my troubles seems so little as compared wif them. u realli dun noe wat is goin to happen to you or yr love ones tomolo, so no matter how hard, we stil have to show dat we care for our love ones. of coz, say is easy, i think actions usually speaks louder than words. it kinda remind mi of my brother who oso passed aways due to a motor accident. i always tell new friends or collegues dat i am the oni child to save them from askin questions of why and wat happen. i dun wan to open the old scars as it realli remind mi of him. when we are young, we shared a close relationship even though he is quite strict wif mi, he is scared dat i will be in the wrong company just as he is. no matter how bad he is, he is still my dearest big brother in my heart and even though sometimes when i am veri angry wif him of causing hurt and pain to my parents, he still cares for me. alot of times when he is wrong, i can see the hurt in my parent's eyes and i noe dat they are realli sad but everithin is gone when he left us due to that stupid accident. i can still remember the goods news dat he has given mi the day before his death. he purposely call mi to inform mi dat i have been accepted to the poly of my choice even though he can wait til i am home but he noes dat it's veri impt to me, so he called mi up to inform the good news. i just noe he cares. i was sleepin in room when the hospital called to inform dat he is involved in the accident, i cannot believe my ears so much so dat i called the hospital to double confirm, i was realli hoppin dat it's a joke played on us by his friends. we rush down to the hospital, bt it's too late. we didn't even get to say our goodbyes. the next few days was pass in a faze. nothing can prepare us for all these things. he is just a few months away from his 21st bday. somethin which he is lookin forward too coz he will be an adult finally.

It's been 9 years since he is gone, everitin seems so clear to me now. to me, my mom is a strong woman, havin lost a hubby and son to accidents. i think if i am in her case, i sure break down. dat is y, no matter how bad and down her sisters look at her , i try to make her feel better dat she still got a good daughter for her. we have been thru alot together too. and sometimes we can take each other for granted, but deep inside, we just care and love each other. i have promised myself dat i will give her a good life when she is old and dun let anyone bully her. i think the accident dat happen to my cousin's friend affected mi and her greatly which is y i am writing abt all these. life is realli short, so we really treasure the ones we love, friends. take note of it.
My Memories @ 3:28 PM
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