It's been a week since i post .. or issit oni a few days back ... hehehe... guess i am gettin lazier and lazier... life's is still like a routine to me. nothin big has happen recently.. so it's shld be good .. brought the kids swimmin over the weekend.. god noes how much i hate the sun but the kids love it .. guess it's a small small sacrifice i have to make huh .. lucky dear dear was around. to chase around the kids and helpin to look after them, which is y i can neber bring them swimmin on my own .. guess i find it hard to take good care of them and i think dear dear oso would neber allow mi to bring the kids out on my own .. it's too risky loh .. for myself and the kids .. hahaha.. can't even take good care of myself, how to take care of the 2 brats.. it's makes mi wonder ..

Sometimes i realli wonder if i am a good mum to my kids. was teachin the gal to write her name on sat, nearly vomit blood then suddenly, i just snap off and pull her to the room and cane her .. was cryin at the same time while cannin her, becoz i felt dat i have spoilt her rotten. and to think dat her teacher actually told my mum dat my gal realli have to buck up and write becoz most of her classmates was able to but not her, she even threw her wildful temper at the teacher by crushin the paper and throwing it at the teacher when she tries to get her to write ... i was like " wat has my gal turn into" a real brat and if i continue to let her be in the way, i think more complains will come. nevertheless, my mom was commenting(sort of reminding mi) dat if it's so difficult to teach her, y do i bother to give birth to her in the first place, and if i am realli dat angry wif her, just throw her downstairs loh.. sigh .. those words really shook mi up dat i stop and went to my room and cried my heart out. no doubt dat i always have a soft spot for my gal. ever since she is born, it seems dat i will love her more than anythin. those around me always scold mi for being "big small eye " bet my 2 kids. i cannot explain y , but i love her more than anything in the world. it realli pain my deeply when i cane her, esp after everiting she will still love mi the same.. i guess dat's jz kids rite .. sometimes i realli envy them, no hard feelins at all times. well, after the cannin, she finally decide it's my limit i can tolerate her and she does her writing correctly. :) at least she learns and somethin good comes out of it.

Dear dear was damn bc these few weeks, workin OTs and late nights. sometimes, i see oso heart pain. we are struggling so hard to make ends meet and somehow, it has taken a toil on the both of us. but i guess all these will be worthwhile seeing dat the kids are well fed and happy and of coz, our whole family is happy .. it will be worthwhile. it better be.. hahaha...
My Memories @ 2:30 AM
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