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Tuesday, May 22, 2007
back from the wake of gong gong... another crying session ... i think i am more compose tonight .. but i dread tomolo .. i m scared that i am not able to control myself.. my tears and my emotions.. always break my heart when i heard ppl tokin abt gong gong.. tonight .. my cousins spoke abt how they feel abt gong gong. the way he cares for them and of coz the food that gong gong always prepared for CNY every year without fail. every cny, he will wake up 4am in the morning to prepare his specialty for us.. he is realli a great man, a great father and a great grandfather.. the uncles hv urge me to give my tots too .. bt i realli cn't bring myself to do dat .. not in the presence of so many strangers .. i am not a person wif good words... therefore, in my personal blog .. i would like to tell gong gong the below:
i always look forward to the weekly routine of visiting gong gong' house when i was young. at there, i would be able to spend my time, with gong gong and the rest of my relative.. gong gong always dote on me, bringing mi to buy sweets and bringing us around.. as mi and ta ta are the oldest children therefore, we will always have the special attention from them. As time grew by, the routine neber change until the year dat daddy passed away .. i noe he is veri upset abt it but to us, he neber show his sorrow .. telling us to be strong .. deep inside his heart, he keep askin the rest of uncle and aunty to take care of us and fulfil our needs.. everitime mi and ta ta visited him.. he always hand us money, he is scared dat we dun have enuf to spend and eat.. after ta ta passed away.. my weekly routine of visiting turn in months and later .. into years.. i cn't bring myself to face them .. in a way.. i felt dat i have let gong gong down .. of all the grandchildren he had, it's always mi and tata dat make him worry. we only saw each other during CNY but yet .. he always make mi feel welcome .. he is the one dat is holding me with the family .. all these years .. now dat he has left, i wonder wat will become of me..
i will always miss u gong gong.. keep u inside my heart .. and may u rest in peace ... dun worrie .. u said dat i am strong .. i believe i am .. and i love u always ...